Should he arrange his children’s marriages or do Hajj with the money that he has?
A man from Jordan is physically and financially able to perform Hajj, and at the same time he will go as a mahram for his mother and his wife. But he has adult children and fears that they may fall into temptation whilst he is away for Hajj. Will he be excused if he delays Hajj to next year so that he can arrange marriages for some of them and ensure that the others will be safe with someone whom he trusts will prevent them from falling into temptation?
Published Date: 2016-08-07
Praise be to Allah
Hajj is obligatory and must be done immediately by the one who is able to do it and who meets all the conditions of it being obligatory, and it is not permissible for him to delay it without an excuse. For more information, please see the answer to question no. 41702.
It is obligatory for a man to arrange the marriage of his son, if the son needs to get married and cannot afford the expenses thereof. This is included under the heading of obligatory spending according to the Hanbalis.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said in al-Mughni (8/217):
Our companions – i.e., the Hanbalis – said: It is the father’s duty to keep his son chaste, if he is responsible for spending on his maintenance and he needs that which will keep him chaste. End quote.
Al-Mirdaawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said in al-Insaaf (9/404):
it is obligatory for a man to keep chaste those on whom he is obliged to spend, including parents, grandparents, children, grandchildren and so on, among those for whose maintenance he is responsible. This is the correct view according to our madhhab (i.e., the madhhab of Imam Ahmad). End quote.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
A person’s need for marriage is a serious matter, and in some cases it may be like his need for food and drink. Therefore the scholars said that it is obligatory for the one who is obliged to spend on a person to arrange his marriage, if he can afford that. So it is obligatory for a father to arrange the marriage of his son, if the son needs to get married and does not have sufficient wealth to get married. End quote from Majmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (18/410).
The excuses that make it permissible to delay Hajj include a man arranging the marriage of his son, if the latter needs to get married and he fears that he may fall into temptation and that which is prohibited, and his wealth is sufficient either to do Hajj or arrange his son’s marriage. Hajj is not obligatory for a man unless he owns wealth surplus to what he needs for his own maintenance and that of those on whom he is obliged to spend, and arranging the marriage of his son comes under the heading of obligatory spending, as mentioned above. Moreover, for a man to keep his son chaste and protect him from falling into that which is prohibited, at times when temptations and desires are powerful, is something that cannot be delayed, whereas it is possible to delay Hajj until after the son’s marriage has been arranged.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said in al-Mughni (3/217):
It is essential that this (i.e., the money for Hajj and the expenses thereof) be surplus to what he needs to spend on his dependents for whose maintenance he is responsible, during his trip until he returns, because maintenance has to do with people’s rights, and their need is greater and their rights are more affirmed.
If he needs to get married and fears that he may fall into that which is prohibited, then he should give precedence to getting married, i.e., he should give it precedence over Hajj, because that is obligatory for him and he cannot do without it, so it is like spending on his maintenance.
But if he does not fear that, then he should give precedence to Hajj, because marriage is voluntary and should not be given precedence over the obligatory Hajj. End quote.
And he (may Allah have mercy on him) also said – as noted above – Our companions said: The father is obliged to keep his son chaste if he is responsible for his maintenance and he needs to keep his son chaste.
End quote from al-Mughni (8/217).
His Excellency Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked:
I am a young man, eighteen years old, and am in high school. My mother is approximately fifty-eight years old, and my father died fifteen years ago. My mother wants to go for Hajj, but she says: That is not permissible and is haraam until I get married. I hope that you could advise me as to whether my mother should give precedence to arranging my marriage before she does Hajj.
Undoubtedly Hajj is obligatory upon everyone who has the means to do it, because Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And Hajj (pilgrimage to Makkah) to the House (Ka‘bah) is a duty that mankind owes to Allah, those who can afford the expenses (for one’s conveyance, provision and residence)”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:97] .
So if you have the means to do Hajj in terms of finances, then it is obligatory upon you, and if she has the means to do Hajj in terms of finances, then Hajj is obligatory. But if you start with marriage, because you need to get married, then there is nothing wrong with that, because marriage is also obligatory when one has the desire and wish for it, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you is able to, let him get married. Whoever is not able to, he must fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Whatever the case, there is nothing wrong with giving precedence to Hajj over getting married.
End quote from Fataawa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb by Ibn Baaz (20/42).
If the situation is as the questioner mentioned in his question, that he fears temptation for his children and wants to arrange the marriages of some of them with the wealth with which he would otherwise do Hajj, then in this case there is nothing wrong with him delaying Hajj until Allah makes it easy for him, so as to ward off this great evil.
And Allah knows best.